Internal Expressions

A thousand times I have failed, still your mercy remains, Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Should I stumble again, I am caught in your grace,
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades,
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame……

Lord I sit, with many thoughts beyond comprehension

Do I describe them to you or run away, never to mention,

The victory inside, the freedom within

Yet at times chained down, by the ever present sin

Fallen world, sinful life,

Moments with you Jesus, seeming perfect in your sight.

Is it possible to feel any other way?

Rejected, fearful, overwhelmed, with no words to say

Frozen and scared, tears swell from my eyes,

Scared to move forward, over-thinking the lies

Of a past that signifies separation and distance

Yet moving so fast, never stopping to listen.

Hounded by thoughts of people from before,

Who paved the way, and also walked through the doors

Open doors, or doors boarded closed

As humans we take pride, often disregarding the woes.

Those cries of experience, and those life lessons

The cuts the bruises the hurts of repentance

Knowing the rights, and doing the wrongs,

I sometimes sit still, and avoid every song.

Words to encourage, and power to overcome,

I stop, take a listen, and write about what has been done.

Here I sit, I continue to write,

I look up above, to a God perfect in every right.

Am I worthy?  I ask, then I turn to the others,

I repeat the question to my sisters and brothers

I am uncertain at times of their faith in me,

But thankful for Jesus who dusted off my feet.

I see the fear, I have lived in it before,

I shake, I stutter, I walk through uncertain doors.

Guided by others, and the power within,

The Holy Spirit burns, to desecrate my sin

The whispers in the silence, that penetrate the night

Brings peace to the waters, of this sinful man’s life.

Do I second guess it, yes, sometimes too often.

I bury His presence, I nail it shut in a coffin,

In a casket of darkness, I remove all hope

A funeral for the dead, I’m only left to cope

To count what is lost, and abandoned my rights

What would it look like, to never again think twice?

In regards to the spirit, I know I have heard him speak

I second guess, I stop, begin to over-think.

I trust the Lord, or at least I say I do,

He has empowered me and asked me to be used

I often think, I am not worthy, it cannot be me.

What would it look like, to live a life set free?

I talk, I pray, I read, write and sing,

Only to bring honor to the death defying King

The author who came, saw my sin and shame,

Took on my sin, removed the blame.

A perfect plan, one that was far out of reach

Be still, be silence, at times let the Holy Spirit speak.

…….. ………

God I look to you for strength,

I think about my life, my many mistakes

I read your words, I dive into your love

You call to me, “My Child, Rise Above”

You o Lord are the peace within

You made a way to eradicate sin

I read your words, your stories of old,

I am thank for the visions, forever told

Your love I read, feel and see,

How can you love a wretch like me?

Perfect love casts out fear?

Do I really believe it, is your love really near.

Many times I know I have abused your love

God help me see, what your love does.

God, not my strength, but only yours

Help me Lord, fight the worldly wars.

The battles within that rage in my heart.

Strengthen me father, consume every part.

God I do not know, what other people see

Sometimes I question, even my thoughts to thee.

Am I questioning my thoughts, or those around me?

To understand your work, the victory in my life

Often muffled by those who always think twice.

Help me to not go my own way

Keep me firm, let me hear what you say.

Grace abounds to those who need it

Help me Lord, open my eyes so I can see it

Your perfect love, casts out all fear

Shown by the beating, your blood, and your tears.

The crown of thorns, the nails in your hands

A life taken willingly, that completed His plan

Help me to see, hold on to that truth,

Love those around me, and forever cry to you

Not by man, my experience, or by reason.

Guided by your Spirit in every season.

Words on a page and thoughts from within

Impressed by your spirit that has forever conquered sin.

A forever walk, years upon years

Never forgetting perfect love casts out all fears